Monday, August 10, 2009

Cash For Clunkers Extended

Cash for Cat Toy, Dog Toy and Dog Chew Clunkers Program

We’ve just voted to extend the Cash for Clunkers program! Trade in your old, slimy cat toy clunker, dog toy clunker or dog chew clunker for a brand new one at WhiskerGifters.com. While we can’t afford to give you a $4,500 rebate (and really, what cat toy, dog toy or dog chew is worth $4,500 – except, of course, the one that saves the $4,500 couch) we can afford to give you a coupon worth 10% off your entire order at WhiskerGifters.com.

Cash For Cat Toy, Dog Toy and Dog Chew Clunkers FAQ

What Qualifies as a Clunker?
Any cat toy, dog toy or dog chew that is:
  1. covered with dried cat or dog spit
  2. full of dirt, fur or other icky stuff
  3. half-eaten or devoid of its original stuffing
  4. caked with grease from spending months hidden under the stove
  5. touched only by humans wearing gloves
How Do I Trade In My Old Clunker?
Let us be clear. This is not truly a “Trade In” program. After all, if your old clunker were full of spit, dried or otherwise, why would we want it? To get the 10% off coupon, though, follow these simple steps:
  1. Take a picture of the clunker you want to trade in
  2. Write a short (50 words or less) description of your clunker - how long you've had it, how much joy it's given you and why you're ready to move on
  3. Email the picture and description along with your name (your name, not your human significant other's name) and email address to jester@whiskergifters.com or baron@whiskergifters.com.
We’ll post the picture and description on our Cash for Clunkers page and send you a coupon worth 10% off your entire order at WhiskerGifters.com.*

Why Are You Offering Cash for Clunkers?
By getting rid of your old clunkers, you’re helping to not only save the environment, but also to save the jobs of catnip growers across the country as they account for at least .00000134% of GDP.**

*If you don’t have a picture and description, send us your email address and we’ll send you the coupon anyway.
**We don’t really know this for a fact.

Sincerely,
Baron, Director of Dog Stuff
Jester, Director of Cat Stuff