A Cat's Fourth Amendment Rights

Today’s Guest Columnist Topic:
“In Support of Animal Rights: If your human finds and removes the toys you’ve stashed under the refrigerator, has s/he violated your Fourth Amendment right to protection against unreasonable search and seizure?”

By Sheppy J. of Port Washington, NY

As it relates to the search for and seizure of your toys, you must first determine if your human had probable cause. He or she may claim probable cause if:

1. None of your toys were visible in any open area of the domicile for several days
2. You were not seen playing with any toys in any open area of the domicile for several days
3. You were seen lying on the kitchen floor with one or more paws under the refrigerator*
4. You were seen and heard sitting in front of the refrigerator crying

However, you may have a case if:

1. Your human searches for the toys, finds them, but does not play with them
2. Your human says, “These don’t belong under here” and then puts them somewhere else
3. Your human says, “ICK. THESE ARE DISGUSTING!!!” and throws the toys in the garbage

The bottom line in legal terms is this: Try not to let any toys get lost under objects too big for you to move.

*Be very, very careful not to allow hearsay.



Sheppy J., Port Washington, NY – “I’m known in my neighborhood as the “go to cat” when it comes to animal rights and the U.S. Constitution. I like reading, listening to Jane’s Addiction and watching George H.W. Bush skydive.”

Well. That certainly gives all of us a few things to think about, doesn't it? Many thanks to Sheppy J. for illuminating an issue that affects all us. If you have an article you'd like published, don't hesitate to email it to jester@whiskergifters.com.

Sincerely,
Baron, Director of Dog Stuff
Jester, Director of Cat Stuff

Upcoming Guest Columnist Schedule
Friday, June 26, 2009: Lucky E., St. Petersburg, FL
Lucky provides a fascinating look at a day in the life of a squirrel.