I respectfully request a retention bonus of $1,000,000. My qualifications for the retention bonus are as follows:
- Over the years, I have retained water many times
- One of the kids in my family used to wear a retainer
- Even at my advanced age, I am able to jump over (small) retaining walls
- After paying my bills, I have no retained earnings
- I know some dogs who are anal retentive
Whisker GiftersIf my check is sent by a method for which a signature is required, please make sure it is delivered between 10:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m., as I leave for lunch at 1:00 p.m. on the dot.
24 Main St., 2nd Floor
Port Washington, NY 11050
Sincerely,
Baron
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