Friday, July 31, 2009

How to Keep Your Pet on Good Terms with Your Landlord

For those of you interested in keeping your pet and your landlord on good terms, we're here to help. We've given countless humans advice on how to instruct their pets in the proper methods of behavior toward landlords. Landlords are not that difficult to figure out, but you do need to prepare your pet in order for him to put his best paw forward.

When talking to your pet about your landlord, and your landlord about your pet, it’s important for you to realize that your job is to act as facilitator. You cannot change your pet’s actions or your landlord’s attitudes. Your role is simply to negotiate a living arrangement that works for all of you.

Do not resort to threatening your pet with phrases like, “We’ll be homeless if you bring another dead mouse into this apartment” or “If you don’t stop barking I’ll really give you something to bark about.” It’s best to just sit down with your pet and calmly, yet firmly, explain the importance of the situation with him. Herewith, then, are three suggestions on bringing your pet and landlord closer together.

1) Have Your Pet Invite Your Landlord to Dinner
By hosting a dinner for your landlord, your pet will have the opportunity to prove that he is a responsible tenant. Over a glass of wine or appetizers, try to steer the conversation toward topics your pet can speak intelligently about, such as the benefits of a raw food diet, organic toys or bully sticks. Make sure that throughout the course of the evening he lets your landlord know that he will try not to make noise that disturbs other tenants. He should also respond to any concerns your landlord may have about the potential for damage.

2) Have Your Pet Send Your Landlord a Gift

Having your pet send a small gift such as a bottle of wine or a gift basket will keep him first and foremost in your landlord’s mind when it comes to lease renewal. Depending on your pet’s maturity level and income bracket, it’s up to you whether or not you let him select the gift to be sent.

3) Have Your Pet Pay for Your Landlord’s Child’s College Education
You and your pet need only resort to this option if your pet has committed a seriously destructive offense against the apartment.

Follow these simple suggestions and your landlord may want your pet to stay in the apartment even if you move.

Sincerely,
Baron, Director of Dog Stuff
Jester, Director of Cat Stuff

If you'd like to become a guest columnist, send your article to jester at jester@whiskergifters.com.

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