"It's Tough to Eat Shrimp on the Barbie While Wearing a Cone"
By Mr. Pepper Man, Tampa, FL
About four years ago, as a rescued Aussie, I hit the dog lottery. I was nine then and not many people want an older dog. But me adoptive parents recognized the cool fellow I am and how I knew all the important dog stuff already – house trained, came with commands sit, stay, wait, down and, of course, the "sit on all furniture and be tiny on the bed while looking darling" skills.
Recently I had some minor surgery to take off some bump thingies that old guys like me develop. Of course my mom got me one of those newfangled cone things to prevent me from chewing. First she came up with the blowup thing that went around me neck but that didn't work very well. So she got the dreaded cone. But she got the new fabric kind that is padded and flexible. I really like it. I tell her all the time with my fabulous voice to put it back on after I eat.
My mom went to see the movie "Up" and now she keeps asking me about the "cone of shame". I don't get it??I think I look especially handsome when I wear it and have no shame.
Mr. Pepper Man, Tampa, FL
Thank you, Mr. Pepper Man, for letting us know about the new types of cones on the market. Neither Jester nor I have yet to accessorize with a cone. What style would you recommend for a red carpet event?
Sincerely,
Baron, Director of Dog Stuff
Jester, Director of Cat Stuff
Upcoming Guest Columnist Schedule
Baron and I apologize for being remiss and not actually posting the guest columns according to schedule. We'll try to do better next week.
- Monday, July 13: Eddy S., Chicago, IL gets his caffeine buzz on
- Tuesday, July 14: Anonymous Squirrel, New England, draws a parallel between Manifest Destiny and Hotel California
- Wednesday, July 15: Baron requests a retention bonus from AIG
- Thursday, July 16: Jester opines about a topic yet to be determined
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